Les Dawson and John Prescott, Little Jimmy Clitheroe and little William Hague, Jerry Lee Lewis and Michael Heseltine, Lionel Blair and Tony Blair. Oh yes, Blackpool has seen them all. And this week there’s been Ken Dodd at the Grand Theatre and David Cameron at the Winter Gardens.
“Two years ago I stood on this stage and gave a short speech… I am
afraid this is going to be a bit longer,” Cameron tells his audience,
signalling that this is The Big One. Not as big as Doddy’s of course:
“I hope you’ve brought your sandwiches,” says Doddy, “it’s going to be
a long night.” Cameron goes on for 67 minutes, Doddy for several hours.
“I haven’t got an autocue and I haven’t got a script,” says Cameron.
Doddy, who has been at it for more than 50 years, doesn’t need to say
such things. He is the Professor of Tickleology.
The jokes just flood out of him, from his very soul. But on his hands
are scribbled prompts and, though the whole act seems like a free-form
ramble, his drummer and organist chime in seemingly unbidden but
magically on cue, their timing as precise as any military band.
“I’ve just got a few notes so it might be a bit messy,” says Cameron,
“but it will be me.”
By the time he
reaches his finale: “Call that election… we will fight… Britain will
win,” his audience is positively tattifilarious. On their feet,
cheering and shouting, thinking “what a wonderful day to run up to
Gordon Brown and yell ‘inheritance tax’.”
He hadn’t used a lectern, he had wandered round the stage, his own
relaxed personable self. He didn’t use an autocue, he hardly referred
to his notes. He hadn’t droned on, plodding through someone else’s
script like sad old Gordon Brown. It had been David Cameron and it
hadn’t been messy at all. It had been a Blackpool Tower de force.
He had come to the seaside at the end of a shaky summer. Now, like any
performer on the big stage on the big night – the actor on his first
night playing Hamlet at Stratford – this was when he had to deliver.
“We needed Churchill, what we got was Iain Duncan Smith,” said the
England footballer Gareth Southgate, describing Sven-Goran Eriksson at
half-time in their losing 2002 World Cup match against Brazil. This
week he might settle for a Cameron.
Labour,
the party of Aneurin Bevan and Michael Foot, of Barbara Castle and Tony
Benn – stellar orators all – suddenly has nobody who can make a
half-decent speech.
It is as if anything
more dangerous than a monotone crawl through sheaves of turgid notes
has been ruled out on grounds of health and safety. Even blustering
John Prescott is no more and grinning Tony Blair, who certainly knew
how to work an audience, has disappeared as suddenly and totally as the
Cheshire Cat.
Dear reader, may you long be
spared having to listen to a speech by David Miliband, the Foreign
Secretary. “He bores for Britain” is a would-be-witty cliché. In
Miliband’s case it’s part of the job description.
Winston Churchill in wartime made what were and remain the most
powerful speeches of the British 20th century – the one about so many
owing so much to so few, the one that ends “this was their finest hour”.
When it really mattered he was an incomparable hero, a peerless
speech-maker and it was seemingly effortless. But for decades Churchill
had bored the House of Commons, not to mention cabinets and government
department meetings, with rambling, overlong orating, and his
off-the-cuffness was prepared and rehearsed to the last gasp.
But when it came to the crisis this old man, in love with his own
verbosity, delivered perfectly formed masterpieces of perfect length.
He understood the power of words though he was aware that in 1940
rhetoric was no guarantee of British survival. If things had gone
differently, words would have counted for nothing.
Cameron is not Churchill and some wobbly opinion polls and ornery
Right-wing Tories are hardly the Battle of Britain.
Yesterday’s opinion polls show that, for a day or two at least, the
public’s view of him has been considerably changed. George Osborne’s
promise about inheritance tax is probably the key to the love surge but
the Cameron speech certainly made a difference.
Those who sat through the whole Blackpool Toryfest heard good speeches
from Osborne and Liam Fox and a very good one from William Hague. There
was also Boris Johnson, if you like that kind of thing.
David Davis, who died here two years ago when he overreached himself by
trying to become leader, was perfectly adequate as Shadow Home
Secretary, the clunking fist of Tory law and order.
But Cameron, moving round the stage as if it was his sitting room,
treating the audience as if they were friends, walked the talk and
talked the walk.
Others were involved in
writing the speech but the words felt like his own – sensible, modern,
constructive, not contrived, or coldly calculated, not artificial and
swotted-over like something read from notes.
Smarter than Brown, from his suit to his fingernails, he made it all
seem very easy. We knew he could do it of course – in the contest for
the Conservative leadership he had done the same thing in miniature. He
was totally at ease, totally presentable and it transformed his
fortunes.
Not entirely surprising really –
educated at Eton and Oxford with PR as his finishing school, he is
clever and smooth as glass (though very few Etonian-Oxonian-PR men can
do what he did on Wednesday).
He is an
attractive politician though not yet a truly compelling one. I doubt if
he has the seductive powers of a Blair or a Clinton but that may be all
to the good. Millions were swept along by Clinton and Blair in a sort
of love affair but woke up feeling they had been raped.
Politicians are rarely called upon to be orators nowadays; the age of
the public meeting is long gone.
Party
conference is probably the only time they do it – and party conferences
are really just big family gatherings. There may be some unpleasantness
but at family gatherings isn’t there always?
Watching Brown and Cameron conference addresses was like seeing a bad
best man’s speech at a wedding and then a very good one. We have all
suffered through bad best man’s speeches where a bloke, head down,
reads word for word from a tedious typed document, lumbering through an
endless inventory of anecdotes about the bridegroom that might have
been funny when they happened (and if you were drunk) but are really
not funny now.
Being called upon to make
a speech in public is, even for many confident articulate people, a
hellish torture. They are appalled by the thought and don’t know how to
do it. After all, apart from teachers, lecturers and priests, who is
practised at such skills? Who knows how to tailor a speech that hits
the right note? A bad speech, especially a long bad one, can severely
dent a happy party though, mercifully, drink usually takes the edge off
it.
On the other hand, a terrific speech
makes an occasion special, be it a wedding, funeral or party
conference. That is why Cameron shone bright as the illuminations. That
is why his people are so grateful to him. He lit them up.
The Tories desperately wanted to see him look good. They needed it. And
he did look good. Talking without notes is a bravura thing to do, like
the trapeze artist at the Tower Circus performing without a net.
Speaking like this is a good trick but it’s a trick. It takes the
audience’s mind off what’s being said. But trapeze artists don’t fall
very often and an accomplished speaker can do it without notes.
Now, as in 2005, Cameron looks better than he actually is, or at least
than we know him to be. Ask people about his speech and you will find
that manner is far more important than matter.
Almost no politician’s arguments and propositions bear close scrutiny –
there are always sleights of hand. We still don’t know whether the soft
new green Tory has gone hard round the edges in response to popular
demand.
It took a bit of time for people
to become rather underwhelmed by the cycling-to-work hug-a-hoody
Cameron, It will take a little time now for people to ask the hard
questions again.
We need to see what we
believe when we really get down to cases – when we see the sums on the
new tax arrangements, when we see what his fine words about family
being the best welfare state really add up to and whether they make a
difference.
The thing about being out of
power is that it is a game of smoke and mirrors. You can look bad one
week and look good the next, simply by putting on a good show.
This week Cameron looks good and Brown looks bad. The point is that
Cameron is very good at looking good. Brown is an actor too, of course,
a craggy character actor, Cameron is a matinee idol – at his best on
stage. On Wednesday it was matinee time in Blackpool.
Believe what you see at conference at your peril. It is fantasy time –
a fan club meeting. Nowhere else does Mr Cameron look so good.
He hasn’t done enough to persuade enough people that he is a serious
proposition. The challenges are yet to come. Only people not using
their brains fall for people just because they don’t use notes.
Everybody loves the way Cameron tells it but I would be more impressed
if I could remember what he said.